As a young kid I use to cry every night without fail thinking of how life would be without my family, especially my parents… there were nights I use to wake up crying, my pillow wet, coz of some dream bout my dad not being around anymore - Indians believe it's good coz it’s a sign of long life - I don understand y such a negative way of delivering a positive msg… lol…
Anyway, I use to pray and hope dat if at all my parents had to leave this world, I would rather them go missing.. like get abducted rather than die… “I know its stupid but I was a kid… mind me n my imagination”... Then, later on as I grew n went away n started living on my own I kinda started accepting the fact dat ppl do age and at some point they wud have to leave this world… being away juz mad me matured n I became a realist... this obviously din mean dat my love for my family lessened, though no doubt it grew even more as I started seeing everything my parents went through to give me the best… n despite the problems and the financial instability the best was wat I got and im proud to say dat dats the main reason I m where I am today n still striving forward further n further…
Being a practical person was wat I thought I was. I was so confident wit my strength of facing life as an individual n without my 2 most imp pillars… even during the times my dad was admitted in the hospital (twice) for his unbalanced diabetes prob, I was strong n convinced dat I was ready to face anything… “Come wat may”… I believed dat life has to go on n at some point one needs to let go…
My dad juz turned 63 this 18th of Sept… his diabetes is at god knows wat level… and my dad being the typical himself is so annoyingly ignorant dat its actually cute… whenever he goes to the doc for his annual check ups n when the machine shows his diabetes is high he claims dat the doc doesn know how to read the meter… which every1 knows is digital.. or his other excuse wud be there was something wrong wit the meter…. It’s always somethin else being the prob but never once it was his diabetes being high for real… he even came up wit his own theory after even relevant experiments which proved dat a persons sugar level actually is lower than usual after a mug of beer… “how cool is my dad”… lol… dats my dad… n dats y I love him… hahaha… he lives like duke, eats everything which is a NO! NO! for a diabetic patient… even a healthy person would be afraid to have such rich meals… but god bless… he has no heart probs, no pressure, no cholesterol, only diabetes… all I wud say is he is one hell of a lucky person… “Touch wood”…
So there was this one night not too long ago, his leg was swollen really badly n my mum getting worked up as usual rushed him to the clinic nearby only to find out dat he had a failing heart… dats wat the doc said… he was suppose to go overseas in a few days… and the doc told him to his face dat if he carries on he has a very very high chance of losing his life… all panic stricken this man still had the guts to insult the doctors degree… lol… but seeking for a second opinion they had visited da hosp n thank god there wasn anything wrong… it was a false alarm… guess my dad was right… “god knows where he got his degree from”… so my dad was back n on to his daily routine… n throughout all this my bro n I wasn informed bout anything since we’re stayin away… after awhile when my sis decided to tell me… I was so angry dat i wished there was at least something wrong so dat he wud start being a lil cautious…
Throughout all this I assumed dat I was this strong person who was ready to face anything… even the worse… but lil did I know dat no matter how much I mature n am prepared to let go there will be a huge part of me dat will be empty n never be able to replace if I ever lost this 2 ppl… taking into account dat I have been away from home since I was 16 and never really got the chance to spend quality time wit my family, really breaks me… especially when I use to be quite a spoilt spot n not appreciate the love I got from home until I moved away… I don think I’ve given back half as much as I’ve received… considering all this I think my life and duties as a kid would be incomplete if at all anything were to happen… n guess I am not and will never be ready to let go… guess no1 is as strong as they say they are… one could never finish repaying the good deeds of a parent…
